25 Funny Quotes From Famous People
Laughter is often the best medicine to cure the blues. There is nothing like a good dose of humor. Below are 25 funny quotes from famous people that we hope will bring a smile to your face and brighten your day.
“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that seem right? That means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” — Jerry Seinfeld
“Not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years or sharing an iPhone charger for one day.” — Rhea Butcher
“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” — Nora Ephron.
“The trouble with this country is that there are too many people going about saying, ‘The trouble with this country is …’” — Sinclair Lewis.
“Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.” — Ellen DeGeneres
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” — Albert Einstein
“My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” — Socrates
“I admit that I live in the past, but only because housing is so much cheaper.” — Matt Wohlfarth
“Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired.” — Sandra Bullock
“You can fail at what you don’t want—so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love.” — Jim Carrey
“Instant gratification takes too long.” — Carrie Fisher
“I’ve come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have food in their mouths.” — Kenneth Cole, fashion designer
“I asked my brother-in-law, the father of four boys, ‘If you had it to do all over again, would you still have kids?’ ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Just not these four.’” — Sheila Lee
“If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” — Reese Witherspoon
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell
“I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.” — Jimmy Kimmel
“By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.” — Richard Dawkins, scientist
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” — Steve Martin
“I just realized that ‘Let me check my calendar’ is the adult version of ‘Let me ask my mom.’” — Noelle Chatham
“They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.” — Clint Eastwood
“My father always said, ‘Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf.’” — Emilia Clarke
“User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’” — Dave Barry
“Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the dishes.” — P.J. O’Rourke
“Filling out a credit card application, my friend came upon this question: ‘What is your source of income?’ She wrote: ‘ATM.’” — Michael Mcrae
“Laugh it off. There’s always another night.” — Steve Carell
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